


Regrets (of their own)

by fanficloverme96



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Gen, Light Angst, Riku can see dead people, lowkey wants him to say this in the game lolol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-06-29 05:37:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15723063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficloverme96/pseuds/fanficloverme96
Summary: After a hard day’s work at the music station, Tenn sees Riku staring at the corner of the wall, having a conversation with seemingly no one at all.Or the fic where Tenn learns quite a bit on having regrets.(Set after Part 3 however spoilers are only hinted and vaguely mentioned.)





	Regrets (of their own)

**Author's Note:**

> Work was done while binge listening to Bandori soundtracks and crying over i7 new event because costumes!!!!!

 

Tenn often tells himself he doesn’t regret the decisions he made in his life.

 

But there are a lot of days when Tenn admits to himself, in the silence of his room or the empty studio as he scrolls through pictures of Riku in his gallery, that he’s not so sure of that belief.

* * *

 

 

-

 

These days, Tenn wakes up to a notification bar filled with unread messages from Riku.

* * *

 

 

-

 

 **_Riku:_ ** _Tenn-nii, good morning!_

****

**_Riku:_ ** _Tenn-nii, we have a schedule today. I heard it’s at the same place at yours._

****

**_Riku:_ ** _Good luck at work today!_

* * *

 

 

-

 

He leaves them unread. He’ll reply them later.

* * *

 

 

-

The performance’s pre-recording of Trigger’s latest single is finally over after 10 takes, and Tenn wants nothing more than to pack his things and go back to Trigger’s dorm. He can already imagine his room - smaller than the one in Kujou’s house but comfortable all the same - and the feeling of the soft mattress against his skin. Sleep sounds so tempting and Tenn understands why Re:Vale’s Yuki would drop into the realm of unconsciousness straight after any heavy schedule regardless of where he is.

 

As of right now, Tenn could relate to that feeling of fatigue wearing down his bones.

 

“Whose turn is it to do the laundry?” Ryuu moans, sinking tiredly into the sofa, “I forgot.”

 

Gaku is leaning against the wall, breathing out heavily as he cools off under the air conditioner. In their latest song, Gaku’s part in the choreography is no doubt the hardest, so performing the same complicated moves with the same amount of perfection ten times has a clear physical toll on him. Tenn sees beads of sweat on his forehead; Gaku must have forgotten to wipe them off.

 

“Mine. I’ll do it tomorrow,” Gaku answers, “I’m going straight to bed after showering.” He sighs. “If the director had asked for another take, I would have probably collapsed right then and there.”

 

“And then Tenn would scold you,” Ryuu chuckles.

 

Gaku smirks. “No doubt about it.”

 

Tenn allows the jab, merely giving the pair an eyebrow raise as he hangs his costume on the rack, already in his everyday wear. The light purple sweater - a gift from Asenagi for his birthday -  feels soft and comfortable on his skin, and the subtle scent of lavender drifts into into his nose. Tenn smiles. He likes it when Ryuu does the laundry; he knows which softener scent the members love the most.

 

“If you collapsed, I would have taken over your part without hesitation,” Tenn answers smoothly, “More singing parts for me, then.”

 

Gaku rolls his eyes. “Your sympathy amazes me.”

 

“Anyway,” Ryuu intercepts, no doubt trying to prevent any more arguments between Gaku and Tenn, “I overheard from the staff that IDOLiSH7 recently finished their own recording in the next studio. Seems like they’ll be releasing a new single shortly after ours.”

 

“Tsumugi Rabbit Chatted me about it,” Gaku says with a nod. There is a tiny smile on his face. “She said they won’t lose to us on the charts.”

 

“Their manager is as energetic as always,” Tenn comments, though he smiles as well. “It’ll be nice to go against those kids, again. Gives us a chance to really give it all in our performance.”

 

“We _always_ give our all,” Gaku argues, “Anyway, if you’re really glad, why aren’t you answering the kid’s messages? Your phone has been buzzing away like crazy.”

 

“He’s right,” Ryuu points out gently, “We haven’t had much schedules with the kids these days as well, so I’m sure Riku-kun must really want to talk to you.”

 

Tenn’s hand hovers his left pants pocket, where his phone is. He gives the pair an unimpressed look. “That’s none of your business.”

 

Gaku and Ryuu exchange glances before sighing.

 

“You’re so hard to understand, sometimes,” Gaku says heavily, “Just don’t let your professionalism end up causing something you regret, Tenn.”

 

“Thanks for your concern,” Tenn replies with a huff, slinging his duffle bag over his shoulder. “Anyway, I’m going ahead. I’ll wait for you two at the entrance. Asenagi-san’s probably already on her way.”

 

Ryuu nods. “Alright. Go ahead. We’ll catch up.”

 

Tenn walks out of the dressing room before closing the door behind him, managing to catch Gaku commenting about what he planned to eat for breakfast tomorrow and Ryuu chastising him on how unhealthy his choice of meal is. The corner of Tenn’s lips lift and he turns on his heels, ready to walk back to the entrance.

 

In his pocket, his phone buzzes again.

* * *

 

 

-

 

 **_Riku:_ ** _Tenn-nii, are you done? Can we talk a little before you leave?_

**_Riku:_ ** _I miss you… We haven’t talked in a while._

* * *

 

_-_

As he walks down the hallway, Tenn looks at his watch. It’s not too late - just half past 9 - so Tenn figures he could probably sneak in an hour of personal vocal practice in his room before turning in for bed. Tomorrow’s schedule is packed and he wants to give the fans his all in all of Trigger’s activities. It is the only way for him to pay them back for supporting Trigger even after they left Yaotome Productions.

 

There is a heavy feeling in his chest. Although their win in MOP had helped regained their popularity and recover some of their losses, Trigger’s reputation is nowhere as it was when they were still with Yaotome Productions. It remains a struggle to obtain sponsors, and on some days, Trigger still has to perform at smaller, more secluded venues. TV appearances occasionally get cancelled as well and there are days when Tenn literally has nothing to do.

 

He understands why President Yaotome had to do what he did, but it is what it is, and Tenn cannot deny the hardships he faced as a repercussion. Tenn lets out a heavy breath.

 

Still, he is grateful. He has no reason not to be. He doesn’t allow any room for regrets.

 

As he turns around the corner, he spots a familiar head of red hair. He pauses in his tracks as he sees Riku standing not too far away from him. From his attire, Tenn guesses that Riku is done with his schedule as well and IDOLiSH7 is probably going to head home soon. He makes a mental note to change his direction so Riku doesn’t notice him - his younger twin brother would definitely want to talk to him and Tenn is too tired for anymore interactions, truthfully.

 

He is about to turn back around when he hears Riku speak.

 

“Why are you standing here by yourself? Are you waiting for someone?”

 

Tenn looks at Riku as the latter stands by one corner with his back towards Tenn. Riku tilts his head as he continues to speak.

 

“Ah! So you are? How does she look like? I’ll help you find her.”

 

Riku laughs.

 

“Heh, you can trust me! I know this place inside out.”

 

Tenn furrows his brows. He can clearly hear Riku speak, yet he can’t seem to listen in to whoever Riku is talking to. He figures that the person must be speaking softly or not speaking at all and merely using body languages to communicate. Curious, Tenn walks slowly towards him and cranes his head to see the person Riku is conversing with.

 

As he draws in closer, he suddenly feels a shiver; as if a breeze just blew past him. When he finally stops just beside Riku, who still remains unaware of Tenn’s presence, his light-coloured eyes widen in surprise.

 

Riku is all smiles as he continues talking to seemingly no one at all.

* * *

 

 

-

 

“Riku?”

 

Riku finally turns to him at the sound of his name, and the boy’s face immediately brightens when he sees his older twin brother. His eyes shine with happiness as he turns to fully face him, his arms already out as if to embrace him.

 

“Tenn-nii!” he exclaims, “Good work today!”

 

“Good work today,” Tenn answers automatically, used to replying such courtesy, “Are you done with your schedule?”

 

Riku bops his head. “Mmph! I stayed back, though, because I offered to help Manager with her work. The rest just left. I’ll be leaving in a bit.”

 

“Don’t stay up too late. It’s getting cold so your throat might get irritated,” Tenn chastises.

 

There is a pout on Riku’s face. “I’ve been getting fewer attacks, Tenn-nii; I told you that. I’ll be fine.” A smile quickly replaces the pout on his face as Riku beams at his brother. “But it makes me happy that you care!”

 

Riku pauses and looks to his side, his expression suddenly curious. Tenn follows his gaze and watches as Riku seems to be considering the empty space beside him, as if he is addressing someone.

 

Someone Tenn can’t see.

 

“Ah!” Riku says, as if remembering something. “This is my twin brother, Kujou Tenn!” He giggles. “He’s my favorite person in the world!”

 

As much as Tenn is thrilled by Riku’s words, he cannot help but to be concerned at the sight of Riku talking to thin air. Riku giggles again, as if in responding to whoever, or whatever, he is talking to. There is a chill running down Tenn’s spine.

 

“Riku, who are you talking to?” he asks carefully.

 

Riku turns to him and tilts his head, looking confused. “Eh? You can’t see her?”

 

Tenn’s silence is more than enough of an answer.

 

Riku turns back to the empty space again and leans slightly to the left. He cocks his head to the side, and places a hand behind his ear - a gesture reminiscent of someone whispering to him. His wide eyes blink owlishly as he remains quiet, no doubt listening to something. Tenn finds himself unnerved by the situation, despite the fact that this is not his first time encountering it.

 

His younger twin brother has the ability to talk to the unseen for as long as Tenn remembers.

 

When he was younger, during his frequent visits to the hospital to see Riku, it’s become quite a common thing to walk in to see Riku talking to no one from his hospital bed. He would sit at the edge of his bed, facing one corner of the wall and be engrossed in a conversation with thin air. He would insist there was someone else in the room - an old lady with tired eyes, a young man with a heavily bandaged body or a little girl with an eyepatch over her left eye - but no one other than him could see the person.

 

It unnerved Tenn at first - perhaps even terrified him. However, Tenn wasn’t terrified because of Riku could see the supernatural. He was terrified of the reason _why_ Riku could see them.

 

He heard stories from his grandmother once - of how a person could see spirits if they’re close to death.

 

He didn’t like the possibility of Riku being closer to death than he already was.

 

“Tenn-nii?”

 

Riku’s voice snaps him out of his reverie, and he turns to see Riku peering up at him in concern.

 

“Are you okay?” he asks, “You spaced out on me.”

 

Tenn pinches the bridge of his nose as he gives Riku a dismissive wave. “I’m fine. I’m just tired.”

 

“You should have told me earlier!” Riku exclaims, looking guilty. “Don’t push yourself, Tenn-nii.” He pouts again. “You always tell me to take care of myself, so you should take your own advice.”

 

Tenn smiles in spite himself. “I will, Riku.”

 

Riku gives him a satisfied smile. He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “Heh. It feels strange being the one who’s doing the scolding this time.” He moves his arms until they are firmly by his side, straightening his posture as he does. “Anyway. The girl went away, so I couldn’t help her today. I hope I can see her again tomorrow.”

 

Tenn blinks.

 

“Girl?”

 

“Mmph!” Riku grins, “The girl I was talking to before you came. She’s really pretty and nice, so I wish you could see her.”

 

Tenn says nothing, but inside, he hopes Riku’s the one who couldn’t see her instead of him.

* * *

 

 

-

 

Riku Rabbit Chats him for the umpteenth time that night. Tenn couldn’t bring himself to reply, because he tells himself it’s not necessary. He tries so hard to distance himself from Riku - for the sake of professionalism, he tells himself - and yet, when Riku’s messages eventually becomes less and less, there is a strange feeling in his heart, like he has done something wrong.

 

 **_Riku:_ ** _Tenn-nii._

 

 **_Riku:_ ** _Tenn-nii, I wish you reply me sometimes. Even if it’s just a sticker._

There is a pause, before another message comes in.

 

 **_Riku:_ ** _Tenn-nii, did I do something wrong?_

 

Tenn frowns, the stabbing feeling in his heart growing stronger.

 

 **_Riku:_ ** _Hey, Tenn-nii…_

****

**_Riku:_ ** _Do you regret having me as your twin?_

 

The question catches Tenn off-guard, his fingers taping the chatbox to reply as if on instinct. _No, Riku, you had it all wrong_ , was what he wants to say. However, just as he was about to type out his first word, the green light beside Riku’s name turns red.

 

Riku has gone offline, leaving Tenn more awake than ever.

* * *

 

 

-

 

 

Tenn wakes up to the smell of pancakes being too close for comfort. He cracks his eyes open and the first thing he sees is Gaku looking at him impassively as he chews no doubt the pancakes Tenn smelled.

 

“Didn’t Yaotome Papa ever teach you to chew with your mouth closed?” Tenn grumbles as he buries his face against the pillows.

 

“My mom taught me that, actually,” Gaku answers smoothly, “And you know what else she taught me?”

 

“What?”

 

“To be on time for work.”

 

Tenn’s head snaps up, his eyes widening comically. He grabbed his phone from his bed stand and sees the time.

 

9: 55 a.m. 35 minutes before his schedule for the day is supposed to start.

 

A flurry of curses escapes Tenn’s lips that made Gaku raise an eyebrow as he watches Tenn leap out of bed and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

 

“The one time you told Asenagi to take a day off from picking you up, is the one time you’re late for work,” Gaku says out loud, unable to wipe the grin off his face. “This is entertaining.”

 

“My alarm didn’t ring!” Tenn yells from the bathroom. His voice echoes off the tile walls. “And why didn’t you wake me up earlier?”

 

Gaku shrugs, twirling his fork. A piece of pancake is stuck on its ends. “I didn’t even notice you were still here until I saw your shoes still at the genkan.”

 

“Screw you, Gaku.”

 

Gaku smiles, satisfied.

* * *

 

 

-

 

When Tenn arrives at the filming location, out of breath from running - he thanks his lucky stars the location is not too far from the dorm - but with 5 minutes to spare, the first person he sees is Momo, who is sipping happily from a juice box. The elder boy spots him immediately and turns to wave at him enthusiastically.

 

“Tenn!” Momo grins widely, mouthing around the straw as he speaks, “You made it. I was beginning to think you got sick or something.”

 

“Even if I was, I wouldn’t miss the schedule,” Tenn informs, breathing out heavily. He makes a brief bow. “Good morning, Momo-san.”

 

“Still strict on yourself as usual,” Momo says with a wink. He takes out the straw from his mouth and crushes the box in his hand, before throwing it into a nearby bin. “Riku’s already on set, so we better hurry.”

 

“Were you waiting for me?” Tenn asks.

 

“Of course! You’re usually so early, so I was getting worried. Riku would have waited with me but he had to start filming his part first.”

 

“I’m sorry for the trouble.”

 

Momo waves dismissively. “It’s fine! I needed air, anyway. It’s getting too chilly with all the air-conditioner.”

 

Ten minutes later, after hurriedly changing into his scheduled outfit for the day and apologizing to the staff for being late, Tenn walks inside the recording studio with Momo by his side. His eyes immediately caught sight of the familiar red hair and his gaze sees Riku’s cheerful face not long after.

 

Today’s schedule involves an interview between Riku, Tenn and Momo, and a newly debuted girl band, with the former three as the interviewers. They each have their own separate segments with the girls before sharing a final segment at the end of the interview. If Tenn remembers correctly, they are also supposed to perform their debut single afterwards.

 

Beside him, Momo suddenly shivers. Tenn follows suit when he feels a sudden cold breeze passing him. It catches him off-guard, and he casts a glance towards the ceiling. Should he tell the staff to increase the room temperature? Being this cold would not be good for Riku’s health.

 

“The staff is really cranking up the coolers, aren’t they?” Momo says with a laugh when he notices Tenn shivering. “Do you want me to ask the staff to increase the room temperature?”

 

Tenn looks at Riku, who is still talking to one of the girls. He seems physically fine and shows no signs of discomfort as of yet, and Tenn doesn’t really want to trouble the staff further than he already probably did. He shakes his head.

 

“It’s fine. If it bothers me, I’ll tell you, Momo-san.”

 

“You mean when it bothers Riku, right?” Momo inquires knowingly.

 

Tenn sighs. Momo laughs in response.

 

The pair walks to the sidelines closer to the set to observe the interview. The five girls sit at the centre of the stage, with their seats angled towards Riku, who sits on the right. Riku’s hair is styled differently today, Tenn notes absently. A jewel-crested clip swept the right side of his hair upwards, showing more of Riku’s face. It makes him look more mature than usual, and a fond smile creeps on Tenn’s face before he could help himself.

 

Riku looks more grown-up than Tenn has ever seen him. He has a feeling that it’s not just the hair, either.

 

“Miyako-san,” Riku says, facing the girl sitting in the middle of the five, her long green hair tied into a side braid. “Your debut single was written and composed by you, am I right?”

 

Miyako nods. Her hands are clasped together on her lap as she looks at Riku. There is a tiny smile on her face. “I participated in songwriting and I composed the chorus and the hook. But some verses were composed by Ai-san,” she answers, gesturing towards the purple-haired girl beside her. Ai does a peace sign and grins brightly at the camera. “She’s the guitarist of the group, so she helps a lot in creating the melody.”

 

“I listened to the song - I really like it!” Riku beams, “There’s so much energy in the song that it just makes me want to dance just listening to it.”

 

A blonde pig-tailed girl laughs. “You’re very kind, Nanase-senpai. We had fun performing it, too.”

 

“Like Kizuna-chan said, we put all our energy in performing, so I’m glad senpai could feel it, too,” a black-haired girl beside Kizuna answers.

 

“Kimiko-san is the drummer, right? I especially love your solo during the hook!”

 

Kimiko grins, pleased at the compliment. “I practiced hard for it! Thank you.” She wraps an arm around the girl beside her, who has her brown hair tied into a ponytail. The latter yelps in surprise. “Rie’s bass solo is cool, too!”

 

Rie blushes. “It’s not that great…”

 

The interview goes on smoothly, and Tenn couldn’t help but to feel impressed with how Riku is handling it. A year ago, he couldn’t imagine Riku doing this sort of jobs, though Riku has always been good with people so Tenn supposes it’s nothing too strange. But still,

 

“Riku has grown a lot, has he?” Momo comments idly, as if voicing Tenn’s thoughts.

 

“He has,” Tenn agrees softly, “He became stronger.”

 

There is a strange twinge in his heart after he says these words. Tenn couldn’t describe the feeling he has right now.

 

He missed out on watching Riku grow up for several years, so watching him as he is now feels a bit overwhelming.

* * *

 

 

-

 

Riku’s segment is finally over and there is a 15 minute break before it’s Tenn’s turn. Momo leaves to talk with the camera directors and to greet the girls after. Tenn, however, waits for Riku as the latter climbs down the set, his bright eyes widening when he catches sight of Tenn.

 

“Kujou-san!” he greets.

 

Ah, he no longer stutters over Tenn’s name, either.

 

“Nanase-san,” Tenn replies, “Good work.”

 

Riku beams. “Thank you. Your turn will be next, right? I’m looking forward to it.”

 

From his cheerful tone, it’s almost hard to believe that Riku sent those messages last night - ones Tenn has yet to reply.

 

Riku looks as if he is about to say more, when he suddenly pauses, his head tilting to the side as he seems to consider something. Tenn couldn’t understand Riku’s expression, either. His twin brother isn’t even looking at him. Rather, it looks as if he is looking past him.

 

There is a sudden chill, and Tenn shivers again.

 

“Ah! It’s you! Hello again,” Riku says with a smile. “Tenn-nii, look! It’s the girl from yesterday.”

 

Tenn furrows his brow, and turns around. Aside from the camera directors, who are all male, there is no aforementioned girl in sight. Tenn is about to reply when something clicks inside his head.

 

Suddenly, Tenn understands the reason behind the chill he felt before, Of course.

 

“You can’t see her, can you?” Riku asks knowingly. His gaze is rueful.

 

The girl from yesterday. The girl that no one but Riku can see.

 

A spirit.

* * *

 

 

-

 

“No,” Tenn confirms with a shake of his head. “But _you_ can, of course.” He sighs, smiling sadly. “You always have.”

 

“You once told me that spirits who are still here are the ones who can’t move on.” Riku’s voice is soft, and full of sadness. “The girl… she must have regrets of her own.” He clenches his hands into fists. “I want to help her.”

 

Tenn’s gaze softens. “Of course, you do. You’re a kind person.” He pauses, making sure no one is near. “Riku,” he adds quietly.

 

There is a mixture of joy and heartbreak on Riku’s face. It hurts to look at.

 

“Her name is Shio,” Riku says, “She says the person she is looking for is here. And…” Riku bites his bottom lip. “I have a feeling I know who it is.”

 

“Why is that?” Tenn inquires gently.

 

Riku hesitates again, looking down. Tenn waits as Riku considers his next words. After what feels like a whole minute, Riku finally lifts up his head again, his gaze steady. He turns towards a direction and points ahead.

 

Tenn follows his gaze curiously.

 

“Because she looks exactly like her,” Riku answers with conviction.

 

He is pointing directly at Miyako, the band’s vocalist.

* * *

 

 

-

 

The rest of the interview goes without a hitch, though Riku’s words are a constant ring at the back of Tenn’s mind.

 

Even when he is asking Miyako a question regarding the inspiration behind their band’s name - named after the flower in the park where the girls met the first time -, there is a nagging feeling which he fought to ignore. It doesn’t help that Riku is observing the interview from the sidelines and how his gaze occasionally drifted towards a certain direction at the corner of the set, no doubt seeing something no one else could.

 

The air remains cold, and Tenn struggles not to shiver, Judging by the way Kizuna sometimes wraps her cardigan around her closer suggests that the girls experience some discomfort from the chill as well.

 

“Good work today!” Momo says cheerfully at the end of the program. He grins widely at the girls. “I’m looking forward to watch your pre-recording later in the afternoon.”

 

Miyako bows politely. “Thank you for treating us kindly, senpai.” She turns to Riku and Tenn, who stand side-by-side. “You as well, Tenn-senpai, Riku-senpai.”

 

Riku holds up his hands. “It’s nothing! I had fun interviewing you.”

 

“It’s always a pleasure getting to meet new talents,” Tenn adds.

 

Momo laughs. “My kouhais are so polite! Reminds me of when I first debuted.” He pats Riku’s back. “I have to make a call. See you later!” He waves before turning around, walking towards one corner of the room with a phone already in his hand.

 

Miyako bows again towards Tenn and Riku who are the only one remaining.. “I have to go, too. My band members must be looking for me.”

 

“Ah! Um. Okay.” Riku hurriedly returns her bow. “I’m sorry for keeping you.”

 

Tenn is about to speak when he feels another cold breeze past him, at the same time, Riku blinks, as if remembering something. He turns his head, ducking it slightly as he stares at the spot beside him. He purses his lips, looking as if he’s about to argue about something. He bites his bottom lip again before opening his mouth.

 

“Are you sure, Shio-san?”

 

Miyako, who is already several steps away from them, stops in her tracks at the mention of the name.

 

“Shio-san,” Riku continues, “Do you really want me to say something to your sister?”

 

Shio.

 

The spirit’s name.

 

Tenn turns to see Miyako staring at them, now, her expression full of shock. Her light eyes seem to be shaking as she regards the pair, open-mouthed. She walks hurriedly towards them, her expression gradually turning upset. When she stops in front of Riku, her stance is already defensive. Tenn is tensing himself, worried of what will happen next.

 

Riku, on the other hand, is surprisingly calm as he looks at the band vocalist.

 

“How do you know about Shio?” Miyako hisses, all pretenses dropped. Gone was the politeness she previously possessed as her nervousness becomes clear. Her eyes dart side-to-side worriedly as she clasps her hands together. “I was positive I never mentioned her anywhere,” she adds quietly.

 

Tenn can confirm this, as he also asked her questions about her background, including that of her family, during her interview. The questions were from fans and fairly non-invasive, but when asked about her family, Miyako had mentioned she was the only child, only further adding to the nagging feeling at the back of Tenn’s mind. He knew she was lying, but he couldn’t show that on his face.

 

It’s none of his business to pry, and would be hypocritical of him if he did..

 

“Nakamura-san, why don’t we continue this conversation somewhere else?” Tenn suggests, already placing himself between Riku and her, “I’m sure you don’t want anyone to overhear it.”

 

Miyako is glaring at him now, before she nods stiffly.

 

“There is an empty dressing room not too far from here,” Tenn notes. He turns to Riku. “Let’s go, Nanase-san.”

 

Riku nods wordlessly, already starting walking ahead of them. Tenn furrows his brows as he observes his twin brother. There is something off-putting about his expression - how he’s neither smiling or frowning and is simply staring ahead - but Tenn couldn’t put his finger as to what.

 

“Let’s go,” Miyako murmurs, and Tenn is snapped into reverie once again.

 

The air remains chilly as ever, as if the cold is following their every step.

* * *

 

 

-

 

“So?” Miyako demands, as soon as the three are inside an empty green room not too far from the set. Her entire stance screams nervousness and anxiety, and her gaze on Riku is shaky. “How do you know about my sister?”

 

“I’m surprised how quickly you acknowledge that you have one,” Tenn points out with an eyebrow raise, “Given how you said you were an only child just a moment ago.”

 

Miyako visibly flinches, and she drops her gaze to the floor.

 

“I wasn’t lying…” she replies in a murmur. The expression on her face is bordering on heartbreak as she wraps her arms around herself, as if to support herself from caving in. “Now, I am the only one.”

 

Tenn’s gaze softens. “... I understand. I’m sorry if I sounded harsh.”

 

Miyako faces him. “What do you mean, you _understand_?” She grits her teeth, pain clear on her pretty face. “You don’t understand anything. How could you? I never told any -,”

 

“Shio-san told me,” Riku interjects quietly, “She told me she is looking for you.”

 

Miyako looks as if someone slapped her as she turns towards Riku after his words. Her eyes are wide with shock, her lips parted slightly. Tenn regards his twin, as well, and is surprised to see how calm he looks.  He shows no signs of stress or anxiety, instead he regards the girl in front of him with a clear gaze.

 

Tenn almost doesn’t recognize the boy beside him.

 

He doesn’t expect it when Miyako reaches out to slap Riku.

 

“Hey --!” Tenn reaches out to grab her hand, glaring at her angrily and in disbelief. “What are you doing?!”

 

Miyako’s cheeks are flushed with obvious anger. She glares at Tenn with as much heat, not backing down. “You tell me,” she snarls. She faces Riku again, who has one hand on his cheek and is looking down at the floor. His bangs cover his eyes so Tenn couldn’t decipher what he could possibly be thinking at the moment.

 

“Do you think is a _joke?_ ” Miyako spits, her tone dripping with venom. “Shio _told_ you? How could she tell you anything? Not when she’s --,” Miyako chokes on her words, cutting off mid-sentence. Her eyes begin to shine, and Tenn could see the beginning of tears forming at the corner of her eyes. “Not when she’s…”

 

“Nee-chan?”

 

Miyako’s head snaps up, at the same time when Tenn turns to his twin in surprise.

 

Riku is staring at them with a tiny smile on his face, his normally reddish-brown eyes now teal.

* * *

 

 

-

 

“Nee-chan?” Riku says again, “Nee-chan, it’s me.”

 

Riku sounds like himself, yet different at the same time. There is a different softness to his tone and the way he carries himself - how his posture suddenly makes him look _smaller -_ makes him almost unrecognizable from the Riku he is familiar with. Tenn looks at him with a bewildered expression, mirroring that of Miyako’s.

 

“Miyako-nee-chan, I miss you,” Riku continues with a smile, his now teal eyes already watering. He reaches out towards Miyako, who looks at the hand wordlessly. “Nee-chan.”

 

“Riku?”

 

Riku, or Shio, Tenn guesses, glances at him.

 

“It’s Shio,” Riku says, “Riku-san let me talk to my sister for a bit.” He bows his head slightly before meeting Tenn’s gaze again gently. “It’s nice to meet you, Kujou-san. Riku-san told me a lot about you.”

 

_“What is the meaning of this?”_

Tenn glances at Miyako again, suddenly remembering her presence. She wraps her arms around herself tighter, her frame visibly shaking. Her eyes are filled with fear and confusion as she looks at Riku, disbelief written all over her face. “S-Shio?” she gasps, “I don’t...I don’t understand. How could you be...This is not possible!” she finally cries out. “You can’t be here! Is this some kind of a joke?” She covers her face with her hands, breathing heavily. “Please, if this is some kind of a cruel joke, please stop - ,”

 

“Nee-chan, it’s not your fault.”

 

Miyako inhales sharply, and slowly uncovers her face to look at Riku properly. Riku - no, Shio - smiles at her ruefully, taking a few steps closer towards her. Tenn watches as his twin, now inhabited by a spirit of a dead girl, reaches out his hand tentatively towards Miyako, his fingers just inches away from the girl’s cheeks. His teal eyes water before tears finally rolling down his cheeks.

 

“Nee-chan,” Riku says, his voice beginning to rasp, “Nee-chan, I’m sorry the other day. I know you were only worried for me. I shouldn’t have acted the way I did…” A sob rises out from his chest.

 

It’s strange seeing Riku cry when Tenn knows it’s not really him who is crying, yet he feels the urge to comfort him all the same.

 

“It’s not your fault you couldn’t come that day,” Riku - Shio - says again, “Please don’t feel guilty.”

 

When Riku finally touches Miyako’s cheeks, the band vocalist lets out a choked sob before she begins to cry, fat tears rolling down her cheeks as she sobs in honest. She collapses to the floor onto her knees. Riku’s teal eyes widen and he follows suit to kneel in front of Miyako.

 

“Shio, is it really you?” Miyako asks tearfully. “Have you really come to see me?”

 

Riku nods. “Mmph,” he answers, fresh tears escaping his eyes, “It’s me, Nee-chan.”

 

Miyako sobs harder as she wraps her arms around Riku’s frame, crying into his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Shio!” she cries, “I’m really sorry! I shouldn’t- I never meant what I said. I’m sorry I couldn’t see you. I’m sorry for everything, Shio.”

 

Riku slowly returns her hug, his expression a mixture of happiness and sadness. “It’s okay, Nee-chan. It’s okay…”

 

The pair continue to hug as Miyako cries, Riku patting her back comfortingly. Tenn stands beside the pair a bit awkwardly, not knowing what to do. What _do_ you do when your brother is supposedly possessed by a spirit? Tenn knows a lot of things, but this isn’t one of them.

 

When Tenn sees Riku’s ministrations begin to slow down,  he realizes that his eyelids are slowly drooping shut.

 

“Riku?” Tenn crouches beside him. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

 

“Nee-chan…” Riku says slowly, his voice slurred, “Nee-chan, I have… I have to go now.” His hands on Miyako’s back begin to slack and Tenn reacts alarmingly when Riku suddenly collapses against Miyako’s shoulder, his eyes only half-open.

 

Miyako stops crying briefly to glance at Riku in alarm. “Shio? Shio!”

 

“Ah… I can’t stay for very...long,” Riku slurs again, sounding drowsy, “I’m glad I can see you again… at least one more time…”

 

“Me, too, Shio!” Miyako cries, “So please, please. I-I… I still have so much more to say--!” she begs, “Shio!”

 

Riku smiles sleepily, weakly patting Miyako’s back. “It’s alright, Nee-chan… You’ll be okay.” He lifts his head slightly to face Tenn, offering him a small, grateful smile.

 

“Tell… Riku-san…. I said thank you,” he whispers, “He’s a very kind person. You’re lucky to have someone like him.”

 

Tenn couldn’t find anything to say, as if all the words are stuck in his throat.

 

Riku’s eyelids slowly slide shut, his hair nuzzling Miyako’s cheeks as his breathing slows down. “Nee-chan…. I love you.”

 

“I love you, too, Shio,” Miyako sobs, “I always will.”

 

Riku gives one last smile, before his head slumps fully Miyako’s shoulder. His hands falls to his side limply.

 

Tenn’s heart would have stopped in his chest at the sight, if it weren’t for the soft breathing he hears.

 

Riku  has fallen asleep.

* * *

 

 

-

 

“She passed away a month before our debut,” Miyako says a while later after she settled down. Her gaze remains trained on her lap as she speaks. “I was overseas undergoing lessons and debut preparations, so I couldn’t attend her funeral.”

 

Tenn listens quietly, stroking Riku’s hair occasionally as his twin sleeps with his head on Tenn’s lap. He looks blissful even unconscious, his expression free from any worries.

 

“What happened?” Tenn asks carefully.

 

Miyako hesitates. “She’s always been weak in terms of health… her immune system isn’t the best and a week before her death, she was caught in the heavy rain and came down with a cold.” Her hands shape into small fists on her lap. “It ended up being pneumonia.”

 

“We had a fight,” she continues before Tenn could say anything, “She was tired of me fretting over her all the time and I was… I said some harsh words to her and we stopped speaking before I went back overseas. I…” Miyako closes her eyes, her breath already hitching. “I ignored all calls from my family because I was so angry. So, when my mom tried to contact me… I didn’t pick up the call.”

 

She doesn’t say anything for a while, and Tenn allows her a moment of silence, continuing to stroke Riku’s hair. His red locks feel soft against his fingers.  Miyako looks as if she is gathering her thoughts, chewing on her bottom lip as she struggles to hold back her tears.

 

“I only found out when my manager told me, and by then, it was too late. She… she already passed away,” she finally says with a whisper. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”

 

“Nakamura-san…”

 

“I can’t postpone my debut no matter how distraught I felt - my members worked too hard for it to be held back.,” Miyako carries on, her voice still a little shaky, “So, I just… I just went with it as scheduled. I was hoping that if we’re busy enough, I’d forget about Shio. At least for a little while.

 

Tenn hears a hitch of breath, before he sees tears dripping onto Miyako’s hands. The girl doesn’t look up as she begins to cry again.

 

“I felt so _guilty_ \- it was enough to kill me on the inside on a lot of days,” she confesses with a sob. “Shio…. Shio was all I had. But because of some stupid argument, we’re…” She hurriedly wipes her eyes, shaking her head. “I’m sorry. I must be burdening you right now.”

 

Tenn’s hand stills.

 

“I’m not burdened,” he answers carefully, “Even though I do prioritize professionalism over a lot of things…. I know what it feels like to keep things inside for too long.” Tenn sighs. There is a twinge in his heart as he says this and his right hand lifts up to ghost over the spot where his heart beats in his chest. He knows the feeling _too_ well.

 

“We all have our regrets. So, it’s always better to have someone to talk to about them.” Tenn pauses. “Though I suppose, given your situation, it’s not an easy thing to do, is it?”

 

Miyako finally lifts up her head to look at Tenn, visibly troubled.  “About Shio…”

 

“I won’t tell anyone,” Tenn promises, “Not if you don’t want me to. It’s not my place to do so, anyway. I’m not that kind of person. Besides.” He smiles wryly, brushing hair away from Riku’s eyes. “We all have secrets to keep. I suppose.”

 

The girl doesn’t say anything for a moment, as if piecing together his words. If she knows the implications behind them, she doesn’t show it.

 

Instead, Miyako shakes her head. “I’ll probably tell people one day… My sister is not meant to be a secret.” She closes her eyes briefly. “She shouldn’t have to be.”

 

Tenn’s smile softens around the edges as he looks at Riku’s sleeping face. “I suppose not,” he murmurs.

 

“About Riku-senpai.”

 

Tenn waits.

 

Miyako offers him a tiny smile of her own as she wipes away her remaining tears. “Please tell him I said thank you when he wakes up. I probably won’t be able to see him again in a while due to our schedules so… I would be most grateful.”

 

Tenn nods. “I will.”

 

Miyako gets up from the sofa, making her way to the door. “I have to go now. My members must be worried.” She hesitates. “Thank you again. It was…” She breathes out heavily. “It was nice to be able to talk to Shio again, even if briefly.”

 

Tenn smiles.

 

“I’m glad.”

* * *

 

 

-

 

Tenn ends up staying in the room with Riku as he sleeps, and watches the pre-recording from the TV.

 

Miyako, now in new stage clothes along with her other members, says something into the microphone, before she begins to sing.

 

“Kiseki,” she says, “It’s not what we originally planned to perform, but we agreed on it after some discussion. It’s….” She smiles briefly. “It’s a song about letting go of regrets.”

* * *

 

 

-

 

The car is quiet. There is an ongoing traffic in front of them, so Momo slows down the car into a stop. Momo taps the steering wheel wordlessly, content to listening to the radio. Occasionally, he checks from the rearview mirror to see Tenn patting Riku’s hair as his twin remains unconscious, his head on Tenn’s lap.

 

“I’m really sorry for the trouble,” Tenn says, “You had to record the final interview segment by yourself, too.”

 

Momo waves dismissively. “It’s fine! Don’t worry about it. Riku must be really exhausted to sleep through the entire schedule like that. Health is important, so he shouldn’t push himself.” He grins. “You can always give the staff something to make up for it. Like coffee! I’m sure they’ll appreciate it.”

 

When Tenn doesn’t say anything, Momo sighs. “If you’re worried about disappointing your fans, don’t be. It’s pre-recorded and the line-up isn’t announced yet, so don’t worry about it. Momo fixed everything!”

 

“Thank you, Momo-san. We’ll make it up to you.”

 

“Like I said, don’t worry about it!” The cars in front move forward, so Momo drives slightly to the front. The vehicle jerks a little when Momo breaks again, earning a sheeping laugh from him. “Ah, sorry about that. Okaarin does all the driving so I’m a little unused to the road, honestly.” He hums a tune Tenn thinks he recognizes.

 

Momo’s knowing gaze at him through the rearview mirror confirms his thoughts.

 

“Miyako-chan’s song was really nice,” Momo begins idly, “I wonder what she meant by letting go of regrets, though?”

 

Tenn glances out of the window, Riku’s red locks soft between his fingers.

 

“Who knows?”

* * *

 

 

-

 

It’s only a few days later when Tenn sees Riku again. After the prior incident, Riku surprisingly hasn’t contacted him once after dropping the boy off at the dorms. Izumi Iori had greeted the pair at the door, his bewildered expression after seeing Riku being piggybacked by Tenn almost funny. The younger Izumi had assured him, albeit begrudgingly, that Riku was fine and well, but not receiving a single message from him was worrying, especially since he’s so used to his younger brother spamming him almost every day.

 

Hence, it comes as a bit of a surprise even to him when he sees Riku staring out at Zero Arena, leaning against the steel frame fencing at the sidewalk. He looks deep in thought, and does not even realize Tenn approaching him until Tenn taps the fence to gain his attention. Riku turns to him then, familiar brownish red eyes widening comically.

 

“Tenn-nii…”

 

“Out for a walk?” Tenn asks.

 

“Ah, um, yes. It’s my day-off, actually.” Riku smiles sideways. “What about you?”

 

“Finished work early.” Tenn adjusts his glasses and pulls his face mask down, tucking it under his chin. He leans forward against the fence, folding his arms. “It’s nice to get some fresh air every once in a while.” He stares off into the distance, not looking at Riku when he continues to speak. “Have you been taking care of your health, Riku?”

 

“Of course, I have,” Riku answers petulantly. Tenn smiles inwardly. He could almost hear the pout in his tone.

 

The pair stare towards Zero Arena in comfortable silence. The air is getting colder as autumn is approaching. Tenn makes a mental note to remind Takanashi Tsumugi and/or Iori to make sure Riku wears warm clothes, though he supposes they’ll already know. He breathes out. It feels strange sometimes. No longer being the one to take care of his younger brother.

 

He said it himself to Riku that he doesn’t need to depend on him anymore since he has his own companions, but sometimes this fact makes him feel just a little bit lonely.

 

“Shio-san no longer appears in front of me,” says Riku, breaking the silence. “I’ve only known her for a couple of days, but I miss her a little,” he adds with a chuckle.

 

“Isn’t it good, then?” Tenn comments, glancing at him. “She moved on.”

 

Riku nods. “Yes. To be honest, when Shio-san spoke to Miyako-san through me, I couldn’t remember the feeling. I just… fell asleep. She did appear to me one last time, though. In my dreams.” His smile softens. “She thanked me.” A pause.  “Shio-san told me a lot of things, actually. About Miyako-san and how she regretted not being able to say sorry.”

 

Tenn hums in reply, content to listening Riku talk.

 

“Tenn-nii…”

 

“Hm?”

 

Tenn hears a long outtake of breath. He turns to Riku curiously, raising an eyebrow when his twin faces him with a sudden determination.

 

“I’m sorry,” Riku finally says.

 

Tenn blinks owlishly.

 

“For what?”

 

“For misunderstanding you. I…” Riku squirms where he stands, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he looks down. “I know why you left home.”

 

Tenn’s eyes widen in surprise. He opens his mouth to speak, but no words escape his lips.

 

“I just… I wasn’t planning on letting you know that I knew,” Riku replies hurriedly, “But after the whole incident with Shio-san, I figured it’s best to let you know I really feel.” He peeks at Tenn from underneath his eyelashes, worry and anxiety clear on his face. “I don’t want to have any regrets of my own. Not if it’s about you.”

 

Tenn’s expresion crumbles. “Riku…”

 

“I wish you told me since the beginning, but I understand why you didn’t,” Riku murmurs, “If the situation was reversed and I’m the one who had to leave you, I probably would have done the same thing. I would have not wanted you to feel guilty. But, Tenn-nii.”

 

Riku lifts his head to look at Tenn fully, determination returning to his eyes.

 

“Tenn-nii, you don’t need to worry about me, anymore. I’m stronger now. And like Tenn-nii said, I have new companions and set a path for myself.” He beams. “Tenn-nii, I’ve grown up, haven’t I? I’m more capable than I was in the past. So…” He moves to grab Tenn’s hands, his skin warm against Tenn’s. Tenn looks at their joint hands with a head tilt.

 

“Tenn-nii,” Riku breathes, “Thank you for what you’ve done for me, but I’ve grown stronger now. I’ll run forward with all my might and become the Riku you’ll be proud to share the stage with. And maybe one day…” He bites his bottom lip, hesitating. “Maybe one day, you won’t be ashamed to admit that I’m your twin, anymore.”

 

His words pierces through Tenn’s heart. His eyes sting with sudden tears and he tilts his head back to prevent them falling.

 

“Riku,” Tenn whispers, “I have never been ashamed to be your twin.” When he looks at Riku again, he could feel the tears gathering in his eyes, threatening to spill. He lets out a breath. “Riku… I’m sorry if I ever made you feel that way.”

 

Riku shakes his head hurriedly. “It’s okay. I understand why you can’t be open with it...Given your situation…I just.” Riku’s smile turns sad and Tenn could feel his heart breaking just looking at it. “One day, maybe. I could stand proudly on stage and announce to the whole world that you’re my beloved twin brother - one I wouldn’t change for the world.” Riku pauses. “Do...Do you feel the same way?”

 

Tenn feels his lips curving upwards. He grips Riku’s hands tighter, brushing his fingers against the boy’s knuckles.

 

“That sounds like a nice future,” he replies softly, “Let’s work together towards it, Riku. A future without regrets. ”

 

Riku’s eyes shine with unshed tears. He lets out a sniff, ducking his head. Ever so slightly, he nods.

 

“Mmph.”

* * *

 

 

 

-

 

 **_Tenn-nii:_ ** _Riku._

 

 **_Tenn-nii:_ ** _Let’s eat lunch tomorrow._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Riku's ability to see ghosts interest me so much! I'm glad Bamco gave us some content regarding it in Part 3 and I hope they'll touch on this subject more in the future! It just has so much potential to develop into a proper plot. ya know?
> 
> I made a new side account for i7 over at @tennssi0907 so feel free to talk to me there! Kudos and comments are appreciated <3


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